Monday, April 27, 2009

no title [childhood]

small and meek. innocent eyes, curious explorations. fingers reach and reach and reach. grasp. sting. in my mother's long, white nightgown. repeat. sting again. jar of buzzing stripes, angry. confused. we just want to pollinate. mason lets them out. fat, round earthlings. comfortable and squat beneath the birdbath. in the rich, overflowing garden. chirping, scared. meek and needy, just like me. young; define young. big words i'll never understand. making friends for entertainment. snip, snip, hair in the refrigerator. cold. unusual. babysitter on the phone. she's young, too. always try to follow the rules, buy a lollipop. hug a bear. check out a book. how many points did you get? what an accomplishment, what a success. move your clip. little white sparkles blur my vision. go on an adventure. my name repeated in the distance, soothing, comforting. loud music and searching beams of light. racing through hallways, delighted screams. run, run, run. christmas lights in my bedroom. remote control, how exciting. practicing on my tall purple stool, pretend, pretend, pretend. bones uner the bed, trolls on the windowsill. Crystal, Crystal, Crystal. on the other side of the room.

funny how these things leak back in. so poignant. so honest. just like that red hand print on her cheek. so bold, so brazen. little recollections, so happy, so simple. memories from the past, just as mysterious as memories from the future. only closer. warmer. full of creepy crawlies in my pockets. locked out in the thunderstorms, playing on the swings. stroke the lizards to sleep, watch them turn brown on my skin. allergic to smoke and hairspray. quicksand with bricks. that ever-so-handy oak tree. spy on Blackie. study black widows. dream of ducks and dogs. that patch of grass. behind the garage. pick out stars. never forget, never forget. embrace, embrace, embrace. 1, 2, 3, cheese. got it.

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