mama goat

book club

My mom put together a book club this summer with a few of her friends and their first book was "Eat Pray Love". When I came home to visit for the week, she told me that their first meeting would be at a local restaurant here in town, Gianna's. I LOVE Gianna's, so when I found this out, I asked if I could come. She said I would have to read the book. No problem. I had it done the day after she bought it for me. Pathetic, I know, that I would do something at the drop of a hat just to eat some food, but what you have to understand is that 1. it was a book. i love books. not a bad deal for me. 2. it's REALLY good food. Oh, and even though this isn't really what my post is about, I will throw in that the book was really good and I highly recommend it.

Anyway, so I go to book club and (now, don't tell my mom I said this) it's so funny because it's all these ladies in their 40's and 50's, who all sound, when you think about it, like hens in a hen house. Quite entertaining. But it was so much fun, and I thought, 'What if I started a book club with some of my friends?' And my next thought was, 'What are you, a total nerd, Chelsey?!' In which I replied, quite frankly, 'Actually, yes. Yes, I am.'

So! Book club anyone? I'll probably send out a facebook message to people I think would be interested, and even though it will be difficult to do since a lot of my friends are all over the place, my mom lodged the idea of using video chat to include those who can't physically attend the meetings! If not that, then perhaps writing an email of all your thoughts on the book for us to read aloud at the meetings and discuss. Just an idea. If enough people go for it, why not? My mom's book club chose "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" as their next book, so I'll be reading that this month. This could be the book for my possibly-future-book-club, or we could decide on another. Doesn't matter to me! I can read two books at once, no problem : )

Ciao,
Chelsey

oh, p.s. here is my final project for my last Communication Design Foundation class. Our project brief was to create a positive poster for this contest. I went with something universal since the competition is based in Australia. : ) Enjoy!

packing. *barf*

Summer school is finally over. Finally. Both happy and sad, since I'm glad to have a break for...oh, what was that, only a week and a half? Grrr. Anyway, I'm happy about the break, sad about Elliot moving back to New York and not getting to see him again until Christmas; sad about not having Brittany Elliff is one of my roommates any longer (although she WILL be just a few buildings away); sad about being a very poor college student; sad about packing allllllll my crap up, moving it to another building, painting said new room, and then unpacking alllllllll my crap. And re-decorating the new apartment. More happiness, however: I get to paint my room! Green Briar green is the color I chose. It was between that & a shade of purple that I was uneasy about going with because I thought it might possibly drive me mad after a few months. Even though my room at home is green, I knew it would be a success since green is my favorite color AND a somewhat neutral color. I'm also happy about going home for about a week and a half (although even that "vacation" is somewhat tainted as I will be taking a driving course this Saturday from 12–6:30, going to the DPS to get a permit on Monday, driving EVERYWHERE with my mom throughout the week, and then going BACK to the DPS on Friday to take the driving test, hopefully pass, and get my license *barf*). More happiness? Umm...well, it'll be cool to have the apartment all settled in again, although it won't be officially settled in until I come back to San Marcos and can unpack all my things. *sigh* I feel like I'm rambling/complaining a lot. Sheesh. Think happy thoughts....let's see....OH! I got all A's this summer in all 4 classes! So that's good. Oh, oh, oh! AND I think I might get a job at this frozen yogurt place on the square here in San Marcos called Twist & Shout. It's new and DELICIOUSSSSSS. I'm sure you've been to a place like it; you go in, pick up whatever size cup you would like, then proceed to the frozen yogurt pumps which come in several delightful flavors such as yellow cake batter, pomegranate, dark chocolate, strawberry-kiwi, etc. THEN you make your way to the toppings section where you choose from several toppings such as raspberries, chocolate chips, granola, sprinkles, etc. Oh, and they have bubble tea. And the colors in there are really happy and frozen-yogurt-ey. I hope I get it. The owner is really sweet. Her name is Lily and she's of Asian descent and has a cute accent and is also the partial owner of the local japanese steakhouse, Kobe. I hope she calls me like she said she would! : D

I think I'll end this post on that note, and get started on my packing (I'm quite the procrastinator).

Ta-rah!
-Chelsey

this week

So I work at this place called CRI and it's very easy work...except that it's also insanely depressing. Basically, what I do is call people and read a survey to them. Most of the time, you're immediately rejected and in worse cases, you get half way through the survey and THEN get hung up on. That's not the depressing part, though. That I can deal with. No, the depressing part is the people that you do happen to complete the surveys with. The zombie-like, no life, miserable people. The 90 year old ladies who do the survey out of pity for the young college student and then half way through it, realize it takes a million years to get through and are too tired to go on. I don't blame them. They're 90 freaking years old. Go take a nap. You've lived your life.

Anyway, Elliot and I both got jobs there and we've been working there for a couple of weeks. It was the only job we could find and that's the only reason we settled for it. And finally, today, we caved from the depression that place brings and called in saying we had mono and would be out for the next week or so. Elliot's last day is this Friday anyway and I'd put my two weeks in last Tuesday. So I'm hoping to get out of this Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday & Saturday & next Tuesday since those are the days I usually work. I mean...it's mono. We should be good for like a month.

In other news, I'm moving from the apartment building I'm in now to another building in the same complex on Friday. I really want to paint my room since we're allowed to as long as we paint them back when we move out and I'm thinking either a semi-dark green or a semi-dark purple. We'll see. After I eat lunch here in a little bit, Elliot and I are headed out to go pick the color(s). I'll be packing all week so it's going to be hectic. Sheesh. Other than that, my life is pretty boring...hopefully I'll be posting more photos soon, so keep your eyes peeled!

-Chelsey

they come and they go

from my boston trip this may

long time, no see, blogger-folk!

Goodness, it's been a while! I wish I could be 100% consistent in posting stuff here for you guys! Although, I'm sure not many people read this anyway...oh, well! Right now I'm changing up my "Blogger Face" as you can tell, so sorry for such a short post! I'm off to go post more things though (mainly photos from my Boston/Oneonta trip from May) so I hope that will be of some interest.

-Chelsey

clewphotography

the latest. you've just GOT to click on the larger views of these babies. it makes my life : )
enjoy!

http://clewphotography.posterous.com/

just real quick...

soooo...i'm getting photoshop (along with a ton of other programs) very very soon and I CAN NOT WAIT. also. i have film photos waiting for me at walgreens. can't wait for those either! i love photography! ahhhh! today is one of those intensely busy days where you do a lot of stuff you don't want to do and all you can think about is sitting down to do that one thing you REALLY WANT to do. so yeah. i'm going to be busy all day until i can finally sit down and play with the free trial of photoshop and edit some pictures! but i have to wait. *sigh* okay. that's all i wanted to say. this one of those me-freaking-out-and-being-excited-and-i-must-tell-someone kind of blogs. in case you didn't realize.

have a swell day!

don't take away my hands, don't take away my eyes.

so today was just one of those days. those push and pull days. the ones that are good, but could be great, but you wouldn't change it anyway so why worry about it possibly being great? the weather is cold, so cold i thought i was going to lose my fingers from holding my camera all day with no gloves on. my nose was constantly running and my hair was a mess, but i got some good shots. i could take photographs all day every day. photography makes me feel like i can do something. even on the days when i think i'm not all that great at it, i can still think, 'yes, but you're still good'. and even though good isn't enough for me, it's enough for now because i feel like one day i can be great. but for now, i wouldn't change it for anything. so why worry?

some days art stresses me out and i feel hopeless. but i'd rather have art all the time than never at all. it scared me this week when my ceramics teacher said to our class, "your work shows you who you are" because i immediately realized that my art tells me that i have no self-confidence. that i'm not happy with myself. i don't know if it's because even though i get A's in pretty much all my classes (particularly art) i still feel like i could do better. that i didn't try hard enough and if i'd pushed myself and not gotten distracted by everything else going on around me, i could be better.

i'm so tired. i don't know what else to say now. it was a good day.

the stars & the moon, they have all been blown out...

It's been a few weeks since I've last blogged and this song I've been listening to lately ("Cosmic Love" by Florence & The Machine) somehow inspired me to blog again. The lovely Chelsea Wilson introduced me to this song and I greatly appreciate it : ) My winter break was well-needed and turned out better than I thought it would, thank goodness.

Anywho, I've been oh-so busy lately. I'm back in San Marcos, back to being an RA, back to drama and stress 24-7. And classes haven't even started yet! Eek! On a lighter note, it's a gorgeous day outside and I would simply love to go lay in the grass right now under the sun. It's just one of those days.

Oddly enough, I don't really know what else to say...there is plenty going on that I could talk about, but none of it really feels worth talking about. Oh! Except for this dream I had during my nap yesterday! It was something about a boat and I needed to climb down the side of the boat to get to something that was in the water...I don't remember exactly what it was though. But by the time I got to the bottom, everything had frozen over and there was snow EVERYWHERE. And there was this long dock that I had to walk to to get to this boat...I feel like the dream sort of started over and over again, repeating itself but with different hindrances each time. I'm pretty sure my dad was there for part of it. Oh, and at one point the dock started breaking apart as I was on it, coming closer and closer to me...it was pretty scary, but interesting...

Yeah. That's about it. Boring, I know...maybe next time I'll have something better for you!

Ta-rah!

-Chelsey

a whole new world (because I love disney)

Wowza. This Christmas has definitely been very different for me this year. Somehow it didn't really feel like Christmas. Lots of changes; some good, some not so good. But never the less. So. My lens came in yesterday. I have been taking pictures like a crazy fiend. I looooove itttt. And my coat is ah-mazing. And my boots, too. I got many other gifts including some scarves, tights, a skirt, a cute shirt, a giant napkin (except not really. it's more like a shawl, but my brother still refers to it as my giant napkin), body washes etc, a cool cigar box, film, and many more things. Oh, and a trip to Las Vegas with my family. Yay! You can expect lots of photos to be uploaded on my flickr if you pay any attention to that.

Yesterday I went to Market Street in the Woodlands with Chelsea & Kealy to see Sherlock Holmes, but when we got there we were informed that only the first few rows were available so we changed our minds and went to Borders instead and I bought "The Time Traveler's Wife". I've been told it's a good read and I've been meaning to get around to it. The plane ride to and from Vegas will be a good place to begin, I think. After Borders, we wandered around a bit, but everything was pretty much already closing so we headed to Kealy's house and had our own little fun there. : ) Let's just say it involved both me and Kealy causing her bed to collapse on separate occasions and Chelsea insisting that it was due to the fact that we're both "fat-asses". Hahahaha, oh it was good fun. Oh, and I almost fell in the shower. And I fell off the bed a few times. And then we ended the night with some good ole fashioned spooning. It was really quite comical.

There are many emotional/relationship things going on in my life right now but I don't even know where to begin without writing a whole book about it. But I can at least say that it's complicated. Very, very, very, VERY complicated. *sigh* Yeah. I really don't know what else to say about that. I'm just in a very strange place in my life right now, that's for sure.

Well, I think now I must go pack since we are leaving my house around 5ish at least. Ugh. Packing is just not for me. : /

Too-da-loo!

i'm a weeeee bit excited this year!

I can not-not-not wait to open my gifts this Christmas!!!!! Clearly, I am already aware of some of the things I am getting (particularly the big gifts).

One of them is this adorable coat! http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog_name=FOREVER21&category_name=outwr&product_id=2070846810&Page=4
I've been needing a good coat for a LONG LONG LONG time. *sigh* Can't wait to wear it alllll the time.

Another one are these super duper cute boots that are olive green (also from forever 21) but I can't find them on the website. If I do, I'll update this post w/ the link.

And the grand finale issssss *insert drum roll here*.......MY NEW 50 mm f 1.8 CANON LENS! http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51iJm5s0XcL._SL500_AA280_.jpg
It's swell for portraits, which is my favorite thing to photograph. So as you can tell, I'm about to wet myself I'm so stoked. : )

Yay for Christmas!

sometime around midnight (because that's the name of the song I'm listening to)

Hello fellow bloggers! (If any of you read this stuff anyway)

I should be wrapping more Christmas presents at the moment, but there's just something about wrapping a present that feels silly to me and it just frustrates me. I like to think that one day when I have my own family we will just put stuff under the tree on Christmas Eve when the kids are asleep and the next morning they'll wake up and just see them there. They'll have name tags of course so little Johnny doesn't get TOO excited about the Barbie & Ken dolls that are really for little Jill (oh, and trust me. I don't plan on naming my children Johnny & Jill *barf*).

Any whoooooo, today I went to visit my Aunt Ginger in Friendswood where I grew up. It was nice to see her and my cousins John & Stephie. And Great Grandma Adams, of course. When we stopped at the grocery store to get some food to take there I definitely snuck in some arugula leaves & that delicious olive & herb something or other dressing that Lauren prepared for us last night. Yum. Oh! And if you go to H-E-B anytime soon, get the Love Dip they have at the little center toward the front where you can get fresh stuff like pastas and dips and such. It is sooooo delicious it should be illegal. While you're at it, go ahead and get pita chips to go with it : ) Pita chips should also be illegal.

Random sidenote: I listened to the radio for the first time in a long time (other than that pretty recent time when I was with Kealy and we discovered a really hilarious station while trying to find a good Christmas music station) and WHAT IS UP WITH ALL THE SAME SONGS PLAYING ON ALL THE SAME STATIONS ALL THE TIME?! Seriously. I mean, I love "Bad Romance" but I heard it 3 times. Along with this other really annoying song that I also heard 3-4 times and that "down down down" song. Oh, and the firefly song. Heard that one more than once. Are there really not any other good songs to play or what?? I remember why I hate the radio so much now. I'll stick to Pandora where I still have some kind of control over what I listen to.

Random sidenote#2: While sorting through the mail today (which was mostly Christmas cards/photos) my mom points to one photo and says "I didn't know she was cross-eyed-ed!" Yes. That's right. Cross-eyed-ED. Because that's a word and everything. I'll add that to her list of words that don't exist. Along with "irregardless" and a few other words that I can't tell if she's trying to play off as being "ghetto" or if she just can't speak proper English. *sigh* We'll just never know...

I think that's all for now. There's plenty more for me to ramble about but I don't think I've developed that kind of relationship with my blog yet....hahahaha

Ta-rah!

take a left on glenberryfla-floo-floo!

Well, first of all, I'd just like to say that I've totally changed this blog up! I deleted all my photos for many reasons. One, I was already posting the same photos onto my flickr (www.flickr.com/emeraldstar) and uploading them to yet another site is time consuming and frustrating. *sigh* Two, I felt like because most of my other blogger friends use their blogs to actually blog about their lives, that I should kind of jump on the bandwagon and do the same. Three, I didn't really do it JUST to jump on the bandwagon. I did it because I wanted to. Just for the record : )

In other news! Today is December 22. The night that myself, Wendy, Kealy, Kailey, & Brittany all went to our dear friend, Lauren's house and enjoyed a home cooked vegetarian dinner that she made for us (including yummy salad with yummy dressing & some ah-mazingggg dessert!) In fact, Lauren inspired me to get back on the ol' blogger and get to gettin'! (Geez, that made me feel really Texan. That won't happen again, sorry : /) Any who, something about tonight made me feel really really good and glad to have the friends that I have. I really hope to update this more often and be the loyal blogger that I've always aspired to be! (baha)

In other-other news! I just posted two more of my poems from the "no title" series that I wrote a few months ago. Thought they needed to be there since I kept the others. : )

Happy readings everyone and a happy happy christmas to you all!

no title [i know you]

no title [i know you]
on my cheeks. words jumbled in my heart, feelings jumbled in my mind. oh, but, i know you. this cold page. those warm hands. but he knows you like no one else does. he loves you. take this strand of my hair, and please, oh please, don't think of me like that. don't compare me like that. open your eyes, don't be hurt, please. hear my tears, feel my quaking heart beat and my shuddering body. we are one and this hurts.

this hurts.
this hurts.
this hurts.

take my tears forever, they've always been for you. wrap me in your clothes, wrap me in your philosophies, wrap me in your curious, gentle ways. give me your playfulness and your charm, and please, while you're at it...take away this pain.

your last gift is my favorite.
but i bet you don't even remember it.

what have i done...
what have i done
what have i done
what have i done?

no title [every memory of you is so right]

slow. close your eyes, darling, i miss the candles and your lovely scent. it's such a terrible thing that those other scents are so alluring. captivating my curiousity, such a shame, shame shame. i'm wrapped in this off-white sheet, thinking of those days and nights. those times in between. reading old letters and notes, oh, such a sad, sad shame. is it just poetics? just words in the sand, everlasting only in memories or perhaps photographs? i want you to feel this right now. i want you to feel it. because, really, everything fades in the middle.

paint splatters on metal mean so little to you, i'm sure, but do you really know? have you even really tried? assumptions never lead to the true answer. inhale. exhale. your fingers on my back. look at me. remember me. remember me. imagine my voice reading this to you. i'll let you feel my pain just as i have felt yours.

but, oh, the timing.
what a shame.

no title [such a distant, perfect land]

tearing. fighting. beat, beat, beat. circles. concentric. opposite. far, far away. once upon a touch. in sickness and in health, but only when i’m there. unhappy and happy, dysfunctional. torn. pretty pictures. Rip, rip, rip. such a bitter sweet ending. why must everyone know? christmas trees and leprechauns, all through the years. so why? nobody’s fault. nobody’s fault. it is what it is, broken, twisted, forgotten. late nights, early mornings. flowers. unexpected. sweet. comforting. so much pain, so much impending torture. what a regular ending to such a spectacular beginning. then take me, take me, i’m yours. just don’t touch me. calendar on the wall. page after page. ink on my hand, on my sheets. so much emotion. fine, fine, fine. questions in your head. answers in mine. we switch. we dance. we breathe. in corners and under blankets. hidden and exposed. such terrible, terrible torture. take me, i'm yours. give the magic back to me. the power. i am the queen. waiting, waiting, waiting, you will never really know. but neither will i. if only we were in neverland...

no title [childhood]

small and meek. innocent eyes, curious explorations. fingers reach and reach and reach. grasp. sting. in my mother's long, white nightgown. repeat. sting again. jar of buzzing stripes, angry. confused. we just want to pollinate. mason lets them out. fat, round earthlings. comfortable and squat beneath the birdbath. in the rich, overflowing garden. chirping, scared. meek and needy, just like me. young; define young. big words i'll never understand. making friends for entertainment. snip, snip, hair in the refrigerator. cold. unusual. babysitter on the phone. she's young, too. always try to follow the rules, buy a lollipop. hug a bear. check out a book. how many points did you get? what an accomplishment, what a success. move your clip. little white sparkles blur my vision. go on an adventure. my name repeated in the distance, soothing, comforting. loud music and searching beams of light. racing through hallways, delighted screams. run, run, run. christmas lights in my bedroom. remote control, how exciting. practicing on my tall purple stool, pretend, pretend, pretend. bones uner the bed, trolls on the windowsill. Crystal, Crystal, Crystal. on the other side of the room.

funny how these things leak back in. so poignant. so honest. just like that red hand print on her cheek. so bold, so brazen. little recollections, so happy, so simple. memories from the past, just as mysterious as memories from the future. only closer. warmer. full of creepy crawlies in my pockets. locked out in the thunderstorms, playing on the swings. stroke the lizards to sleep, watch them turn brown on my skin. allergic to smoke and hairspray. quicksand with bricks. that ever-so-handy oak tree. spy on Blackie. study black widows. dream of ducks and dogs. that patch of grass. behind the garage. pick out stars. never forget, never forget. embrace, embrace, embrace. 1, 2, 3, cheese. got it.

no title [afterlife]

maybe you would if you were listening. there's more than what's right in front of you. listen, listen, look, look. rising sun, sinking roots, hopeful hearts, broken spirits. joined somehow. scars have stories, most of them don't recall the pain, but the good times. go get hurt. be free, expose yourself. too many particulars? distracted, distracted, without the same effect. emerging from that in between, non-existent phase. dream-like, but with no dreams. the sound of footsteps on a beaten path. the sound of footsteps on clouds. name your children what you will, eager to leave the one print of your inner self on the world. fighting for the last straw. is it really worth it?

bite down on the plastic, six years old again, here comes the tooth fairy. golden ball slinks away, the pale light reigns once again. no struggle, it just is. so lets just come to terms. grow, grow, grow. reflect. record. nostalgic, one day extinct, and nobody remembers. famous outside your time. wealthy when it's no longer useful. look back again, shake your head. small smile. faint breeze. perspective. muscles uncoil. flutter of wings, you'll never know that feeling. you want it? perhaps one day you'll be an angel.

no title [advice]

rapture. willing to let go, letting go. free, free, free. find this interesting...at a complete loss, trying to determine. those piano notes. rather crumpled and worn. all for some reason. fingers against paper, all for some reason. lost dreams, lost memories, lost self. this is my song, she thought. he thought. we thought. they thought. too much thinking, too purposeful, let that go. splatters of thoughts on the paper, unique, i suppose. what does your handwriting reveal about you? such a strange entry, unlike any other. needed this, needed this. forget all you know about everything, reincarnated inside yourself, changing, refreshed, new start. don't be yourself, find yourself. how is this going? testing, testing, testing, how do they do that? must know everything, look it up, so easy. let go of that, let it go like snakes and bugs. why should we recognize you? heavy, heavy, heavy. you can't tell, can't follow this stream of thoughts, something like religion or space. reverse, reverse, reverse.

now take a breath. listen to that one song. hold someone's hand. don't speak. hold your own hand, self-comfort, self-realization. independence. everyday is spring. everyday is renaissance. such similar noises. the same stream, different water, wearing down stones, changing forever. cycle back. cycle back again. read the directions. rest. enjoy. feel all things, learn the spectrum of your emotions, how far will you go? round and round and round, repeat, repeat, repeat. sleep. is that life? even when things are bad, they are good. we are home wherever we are, sleeping inside ourselves. we are magical. don't read again until tomorrow, remember those dreams, you know the ones. everything, everything. clear your throat, speak up.

I said everything.